Flashback

“If I don’t knock on the door twice, no matter what, even if I’m alone, DO NOT come out from hiding. Not until I give you the signal. You need to stay safe, and if something happens to me, I could be just as dangerous to you as any monster.” In the memory, Dean lifts up a hand, holding it next to Sam for comparison. It stretches out almost twice Sam’s length. Each of the fingers is thick and strong, all more powerful than the smaller hunter. “I don’t ever want to hurt you with these, and if I get possessed by a demon, the first thing they’ll do is go for you.” The hand wraps around Sam unexpectedly, pinning his arms to his sides with unrelenting strength. There is no time for Sam to react to the hunter’s quick movements.

Sam has only been with his older brother for a day at this point, and he stares up at Dean from the clenched fist with fear in his eyes. The only thing that keeps him from freaking out from the way he’s trapped is the pain in Dean’s eyes… the worry, the self-loathing for what he’s doing. Dean clearly wants nothing more than to keep Sam safe, even as he closes his huge hand firmly around his little brother’s fragile body.

So even though Sam desperately wants to thrash and struggle, to try and escape, he stills himself in Dean’s overpowering grasp. As Sam is helplessly lifted up off the table, he gives his trust to Dean, hoping it isn’t misplaced. He can clearly remember how it had felt when Dean had no idea who he was, capturing him with ease in the same immense hand clenched around his body now.

The hand stops a few inches in front of Dean’s face, fingers opening up around Sam. He scrambles to a stand in the palm, small chest heaving from the unexpected scare. He can’t help but eye his brother’s fingers suspiciously from where he stands, still within their clutches. It is an unwanted reminder of how powerless he is next to his brother. 

Dean’s eyes stared at him with a kind expression. “Sam, the last thing I want is for you to EVER be afraid of me. But it’s more important that you understand that anything can happen, and if anything ever happens to you because of me, I’ll never forgive myself.” 

Sam frowns, but nods his understanding.

Dean’s other hand lifts up, gently rubbing Sam’s back to try and reassure him after the scare. Sam can’t stop a shiver, standing there helpless between those huge hands that can so easily trap or crush him. Which, after Dean’s demonstration he understands better than ever. Dean’s face falls when he sees this. He nods sadly at Sam as he lowers his hand back to his side, understanding and accepting his reaction.

But it still hurts him to see his brother afraid.


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